Another day….Yes, please, count your blessings as we where before that day
Tears and screams as I was working through trauma that was bound unseen
Hey, those aren’t yours to recall..those are other’s…you weren’t the lightening nor thunder
So what if you hit the walls w/the blue bowling balls & hiding the tracks in vents
You listened to other’s when they’d climb in and escape out the hatch
It was to listen to YOUR intuition of those encounters & hear other’s balk back
When I stalled and pondered who was running w/the ball
Who was at the goal pulling the strings after all
Let her think she’s smart this will build her for the start
Allow her to counter the restrictions and resume her arts
We all knew she got the bum end of the broom
A simple suggestion that ‘she’ was now all four
She screamed about the shame and guilt to learn
She didn’t want to be the brunt of their ordeals
She’d worked so hard to not be one to hurt w/lack of care of appeal
Knowing her son had always been a compassionate bright one
Letting loose of the strings was hard when some new friends would sting
Lastly recalling how I was saying he was singing too low and pull those strings
I pondered if within those words he heard me trying to curve what he brings
Trying to climb back on my feet…after a stay that was more than unusual & not neat
The weird thoughts and accusations that at first I needed answers for other’s to seat
Instead, I got questions back and my paranoia started creeping solid black
If I were to write what I heard that was countered w/other’s saying none where saying words as earlier the blame of not giving credit just the same
The no fear wasn’t so queer but the accusations that I had paused to fear
They allowed that noise to come in whistle clear
The last I had said…we only leave together & never alone again
After that day they’d barely even stay a night nor day
Reactive to feeling as if I had hurt them in some way
As if that gave permission for another to work on that fear too
Allowing horror stories to fill my head as my unfounded doubts where killing my kids
Be positive as your arts prior to home just know you’re never alone
Clear those thoughts and they’ll return home…have the faith and know your own
Removed from my home & stuffed into a dank dark apt w/no comforts to built her own
Since she wouldn’t stand up for herself we’ll script her into the place she was screaming as hell when no help returned to piece together her hope…haha just a joke
Be grateful you have a bed and a table to set…don’t be codependent on objects or friends
Take punishment for speaking so foul on those who where helping you the whole while
That shrug of, I don’t know what you mean,..I guess, as I walked from that scene in 2009
Ripped them to shreds when you showed you didn’t care if they died
They just wanted to help you realize you weren’t as special as the other’s lied
To speed you through the healing of your insecure mind too
Make you learn to appreciate that they were actually healed and you just late
Shaming the only ones who saved the bell yet in face not a single came to clear
Like someone had purposefully said “don’t give her any facts” make her stand behind knowing all….let her work through and reach the curing like all of you
When I wouldn’t speak I was at fault and when I would I was told I was speaking wrong
It was a no win win situation and my lone time became greater again
Whisper whisper don’t you realize how bad you made them feel speaking of such nastiness after they saved your ass and you don’t even know how even tho you asked
You didn’t follow any rules that were laid and now other’s get to make you pay
Broken and don’t worry after all that mess none consider you any kinda token
Lazy one who didn’t even give a shit about the one’s who loved ya
Thinking you number one wasn’t to be aired to everyone for I learned to love me looked greedy
You’re going too fast into town & everyone still fresh of the whorehound
The laughing, crying, joker was cause you showed no sympathy but sin
Claiming you where honored and he was only to share & everyone got scared
Minus any clear facts except one who seemed to want to abash any of my nice acts
Reminding me I was the one who traveled up here and another screaming to tell the things other’s wouldn’t know even if it is debated to honor not being evil as being told
I honored the one that was allowed to say w/out hostility in any way
Don’t do magic and don’t ‘listen’ to what others have to say
Built your intuition w/out using a spell in any which way
Dreams of black eyes and of other things that seemed to corrupt my mind
Every time I’d deliberate in my head I was hearing she’s twisting it again
See how she pushed out her kid and made it that man again & denounced her kin
The angel that the net couldn’t script but pull out other facts of dream events
Seemed as if she had turned from being honest and true and keeping it from them too
No no…just respecting you as you claimed independence; you see?
Waiting for those voices to come back again and help me sort out what I’ve landed in
As the stress didn’t feel pretend or self induced hallucinatin’
Too bad I was delusional & had heard…before return home how I wasn’t going to be touched in any negative way and to be respected after the trauma I had sustained
Only to find out the man I had asked (and another laughed cause he knew he’d dishonor me in fact) to ‘selfishly’ validate my arts when she was only a slug trail not willing to stand center stage & profess such beauty she’d claimed
As it thickened I heard he had another son before ours had his start….No no…it wasn’t hers I’m the one gifted and she tried to rip it away from my estranged son. Speaking of a stadium event that I hadn’t any recall (still to this day) but him saying the one I eyed was married & he grabbed his wife & kids & ran away.
Deepen the wound of not even knowing the lies that where obvious to others loomed
The ignorance and an open door which seemed anyone had a chance to dance their drama to see if I’d believe but then even when the laughter wouldn’t stop everyone decided it was just “inside me” as my emotions went to a tidal wave and I wasn’t being cared for as I “thought” I was going to be after home from the hospital that day. I balked and bantered when I heard someone had stolen my identity and they wanted to blame my son for cash spent while I was gone. Any question for solid facts I had asked was retorted to with no answer or just a empty stare back. I hadn’t wanted to attack I wanted to keep calm and not slide back but the more the two talked soft and low the obvious removal of my son’s trust from looking at me like I was half-cocked. In my head screaming….he wasn’t in the ride to the hospital that day that changed me & my son in so many ways. What had happened & why had i turned into the bad guy that noone wanted to even spend some time as I asked each time he’d come by. Trying to gather my own facts and walking along the street just to get sticky notes that were more vague and not filling in any cracks…claims of divisions who Claimed kept insurance at their home come back…I know u are walking alone & have a hard time being around here w/nothing being given to you at your home. Trying to hush and wait my time that things will work out & things will be better than fine. No, it was like an injury to which none wanted to claim but twist and blame because that chuckle was cool like…go ahead & tell him to stand up for you…we’ll gift it to him instead too & since you yell at your dog to not go in the street shows you are took weak & don’t carry the confidence that will be need to speak a story of no fear and glow big as every human being has ever wanted when they had past lived. Don’t speak of the 3G as you wouldn’t say, “Oh, excuse me” nor the fun upstairs but how you only ask for a smoke & we’ll eventually hook you on speed to prove the comment in the hospital was spot on indeed. What’s one when there are millions to feed…but let’s have some fun none will honor her to believe. See how she dishonored the loaf of bread and the day old donuts she’s full of greed.

The end…(remember when you said I wasn’t honoring the “beautiful” things you’d say and act as if it was all my blessings that you’d stole away….just cause I said insanity was not my role …without elaborating the other souls I’d seen in my day who suffered more than me in every which way) breaking me down more and more as my life was crumbling further to the floor after dog shit was thrown in my face & I said they must be acting to see if i’d react cause there was absolutely no funny in any of those facts that where able to be seen unlike the “unheard” facts…even when I had asked ….how dare I….